I love this time of year.. the decorating, the food, the celebrating and family togetherness..and oh the food!
And as much fun as the holiday season can be, it can also be a time where uncomfortable conversations are unavoidable, especially if you have a house full of guests visiting or you’re traveling to unite with family. It can be stressful for some and a time where feelings of loneliness can surface even when surrounded by loved ones.
Heal Your Relationships Before 2019!
2018 is about completing unfinished business so you can enter into 2019 with a clean slate. Your unfinished business may involve having uncomfortable conversations with family this holiday season. Your power is expanded when you make the effort to do what it takes to make things right!
Ask yourself, “What role did I play in the past that may have caused negative feelings or seperation with my children/spouse/partner or parents? What can I do now that can help heal family wounds?
Remember, you are the creator of your life by what you choose to think, feel and believe in. Whether you need to create healthy boundaries or need to learn how to communicate your feelings you can learn to do so, with the deepest of respect so everyone feels seen, heard and appreciated.
Life is too short to hold on to pent up anger, resentment, blame or hold back love. Let’s begin 2019 with a forgiving heart so that your heart can expand and feel even more love and respect next year.
As you forgive others you forgive yourself!
You are welcome to watch this short 5 minute video HERE. My dad asked for forgiveness and it was truly a magical day! Not everyone has this much courage – my dad did and I am so grateful because this moment changed my life forever.
As I mentioned 2018 is about completing unfinished business so you can begin 2019 with a clean slate. It may be time to make amends, to seek forgiveness to those you may have hurt or disappointed or to forgive others for how they may have wronged you? Why forgive? Because, we all want to be forgiven for our own wrong doings.
Step One: Take a moment (find a private space) with each family member this holiday season and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. In this way you begin the new year with a clean slate.
Step Two: For those you may have hurt in the past, here are a few examples of what you can say to help you get through these uncomfortable conversations.
“I am so sorry if I caused you any pain or hurt with what I said or did in the past. There is still a part of me that I have yet to heal, a part of me that has been carrying this pain from the past and you just reminded me of something I need to let go of. I blamed you and it is not your fault. I am sorry. My soul loves you. Can you forgive me?”
Example # 2
I am so sorry I ever doubted you. I am sorry I never supported you. I promise to make every effort from now on no matter what you want to do with your life. I love you.
I know I don’t often express how I truly feel and I want you to know that I am so grateful to have you in my life. I do love you and I sometimes do not know how to show it in the way you want me too. Can you forgive me?
Note: Even if you are enlightened and energetically above the line, it is still an honourable request to seek forgiveness. Many family members are still on their journey.
Step Three: These are simple words; however, to say them takes great courage and 100% personal accountability for everything that happens to us in life. Remember, the person you are seeking forgiveness from may not forgive you. That is okay. What is important is your willingness to express these words above. When you take ownership of how you feel and for the pain you may have caused others, guess what happens, you dissolve stress, depression and anxiety and many other negative emotions. You free yourself of the chains that once bound you. You rise UP and become the best version of yourself.
It is your love that makes you courageous. It is your love that makes you fearless!
Do you want to have a life that really matters?
This could be the year that you look back and remember as extraordinary, a year that stands out above the rest. You can choose to play full out and not allow your fears and circumstances to be the master of your life. On the other hand, you could have this be another ho hum year, wallowing around in your story. A story that is filled with regrets, mediocrity and self-drama.
When your STORY gets bigger than your dreams, you are in trouble. If you want to experience more respect, love and peace of mind in your life or more meaningful relationships whether it is personal or business then it is time for you to become accountable for how you FEEL and seek a healthier expression in releasing your emotions.
This is why I created, the Emotional Integrity Process which is a three-part process and as with all processes there is a beginning, a middle and an end. All three are important steps that if carried through in the order given will greatly benefit your life. Anytime you feel you are about to breakdown remember to – prepare, surrender and connect by proceeding with the following steps.
The Emotional Integrity Process is designed to RELEASE THE NEGATIVE ENERGETIC CHARGE from your physical body and energy field so you can embrace your DIVINE GIFTS.
The Emotional Integrity Process (EIP) is a healthy way to express your perceived negative emotions instead of releasing and transferring pent up toxic energy on your loved ones. This is a wonderful gift to give to your children as they are deeply affected by toxic emotional energy.
The EIP allows you to become intimate with all of who you are and ALL of who you are not. Intimacy is creating a strong relationship with your inner selves. Intimacy begins with being connected to your emotions. In order for tears to flow one must feel emotional safety. Emotional safety is required to drop into the heart and it is your heart that is carrying much of the toxic energies such as anger and resentment.
To prepare and create a safe environment I recommend the following.
You will be kneeling as if your couch or bed is an alter, so you may want to put a pillow underneath your knees and have one in front of you to hold and talk in to. As well as a blanket for comfort.
As I mentioned this is a three-step process. I highly recommend you complete all three so that you can receive the full benefits that are available to you.
Ok, let’s begin.
Anger is a very toxic energy for the person expressing, so you want to make sure you release it fully. Underneath anger is sadness. Underneath sadness is fear. Underneath fear is your divinity. You are peeling the onion of your mind. The guilt may surface now as you feel into all the perceived wrong doings you caused others throughout your life, Surrender now to your sadness and allow the tears to cleanse your mind and body.
This step is very important. Underneath fear is the truth of who you are, your Divine nature. You are much more than “JUST” a human being. This is where you connect to your Divine Self, your inner brilliance. Connection to your Divine Self is made when you release all the heavy energies stored in your body. Here you forgive yourself and others. As you set others free, you set your Fallen Angels free and begin the integration of your Forgotten Angels. The integration of Forgotten Angels begin with I AM statements.
Now slowly lift yourself off the floor and onto the couch or bed. Make sure your spine is straight and your feet are on the floor, hands resting on your legs. Now close your eyes and relax into a meditative state where you areonce again focusing on your breath.
I love you (your name here).
I am so proud of you ( your name here) for having the courage to feel.
You are a brilliant human being (your name here.)
I feel so ALIVE!
Keep your eyes closed until you are at peace with yourself. Visualize yourself spiraling up out of the darkness, climbing up the stairs and into the light of self-awareness.
Remember your power as a human being is to create any life you desire. What are you ready to let go of in your life that no longer serves you? Here you can claim your happiness and make a stand for what your heart truly desires.
The more you follow the Emotional Integrity Process you will discover something quite magical. Within your mind consciousness system there is the one who cries, (the Sad self or the Tearful self) and there is the ONE who is observing the self who cries. The one who is observing is YOU, the aspect of you known as your Brilliant Self. Your Brilliant Self (the highest version of you) is pure love and compassion and is the one who is to be the nurturer to the one within who is sad. Connection is made when you know and trust that there is a higher power that lives inside of you.
Repeat the EIP whenever you are feeling angry, stressed, frustrated, confused or fearful. Your emotions are never right, wrong, good or bad. Every self that is alive inside of you deserves to be heard and not judged as bad or wrong. They all have a purpose and a gift to give you. They just want to be heard, acknowledged and loved. So pound that couch/bed and express yourself! Then let the tears flow until you feel your peace, your centeredness of BEING. Then sit and mediate till you embrace SELF LOVE.