How to Have Uncomfortable Conversations with Family this Holiday Season
I love this time of year.. the decorating, the food, the celebrating and family togetherness..and oh the food!
And as much fun as the holiday season can be, it can also be a time where uncomfortable conversations are unavoidable, especially if you have a house full of guests visiting or you’re traveling to unite with family. It can be stressful for some and a time where feelings of loneliness can surface even when surrounded by loved ones.
Heal Your Relationships Before 2019!
2018 is about completing unfinished business so you can enter into 2019 with a clean slate. Your unfinished business may involve having uncomfortable conversations with family this holiday season. Your power is expanded when you make the effort to do what it takes to make things right!
Ask yourself, “What role did I play in the past that may have caused negative feelings or seperation with my children/spouse/partner or parents? What can I do now that can help heal family wounds?
Remember, you are the creator of your life by what you choose to think, feel and believe in. Whether you need to create healthy boundaries or need to learn how to communicate your feelings you can learn to do so, with the deepest of respect so everyone feels seen, heard and appreciated.
Life is too short to hold on to pent up anger, resentment, blame or hold back love. Let’s begin 2019 with a forgiving heart so that your heart can expand and feel even more love and respect next year.
As you forgive others you forgive yourself!
You are welcome to watch this short 5 minute video HERE. My dad asked for forgiveness and it was truly a magical day! Not everyone has this much courage – my dad did and I am so grateful because this moment changed my life forever.
As I mentioned 2018 is about completing unfinished business so you can begin 2019 with a clean slate. It may be time to make amends, to seek forgiveness to those you may have hurt or disappointed or to forgive others for how they may have wronged you? Why forgive? Because, we all want to be forgiven for our own wrong doings.
Step One: Take a moment (find a private space) with each family member this holiday season and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. In this way you begin the new year with a clean slate.
Step Two: For those you may have hurt in the past, here are a few examples of what you can say to help you get through these uncomfortable conversations.
Example #1
“I am so sorry if I caused you any pain or hurt with what I said or did in the past. There is still a part of me that I have yet to heal, a part of me that has been carrying this pain from the past and you just reminded me of something I need to let go of. I blamed you and it is not your fault. I am sorry. My soul loves you. Can you forgive me?”
Example # 2
I am so sorry I ever doubted you. I am sorry I never supported you. I promise to make every effort from now on no matter what you want to do with your life. I love you.
Example #3
I know I don’t often express how I truly feel and I want you to know that I am so grateful to have you in my life. I do love you and I sometimes do not know how to show it in the way you want me too. Can you forgive me?
Note: Even if you are enlightened and energetically above the line, it is still an honourable request to seek forgiveness. Many family members are still on their journey.
Step Three: These are simple words; however, to say them takes great courage and 100% personal accountability for everything that happens to us in life. Remember, the person you are seeking forgiveness from may not forgive you. That is okay. What is important is your willingness to express these words above. When you take ownership of how you feel and for the pain you may have caused others, guess what happens, you dissolve stress, depression and anxiety and many other negative emotions. You free yourself of the chains that once bound you. You rise UP and become the best version of yourself.
It is your love that makes you courageous. It is your love that makes you fearless!
In Gratitude,
Karen Klassen
